The pink flocked Answer Me Jesus is wiser than the average 8 Ball. Jesus offers 20 different answers to help you choose the righteous path. Ask a question and turn him over - the answer you seek magically appears!

I've always wanted to send one of these to Colbert. Anyone?

Got a bad case of *CRS? Know someone who does? Then this tonic is for them. Dr. Michael Tick has dedicated considerable time to researching and formulating what he calls Brain Food. The herbs in this formula address the five factors that most common cause of memory loss, ranging from ginkgo, which has been shown to improve the flow of blood to the brain, to cayenne, which causes the brain to secrete more endorphins. (Oooooooh, love those endorphins!)

Of course, we'd like for you to consult your physician before taking any herbal products. Just in case.

*Can't Remember Stuff

It may look like an everyday spoon, but this extraordinary utensil has the ability to telescopically extend to the uncanny length of 21". With the Sneaky Spoon it's easy to stealthily steal a taste of the soup at the table next to yours. It's also great for scooping up every last spoonful of ice cream without getting your hands all sticky.

And for you french fry stealers, they also have the telecoping Freeloader Fork.

If you watch FoodNetwork as much as I do then I'm sure you've seen Alton Brown use all kinds of cool kitchen gadgets like this telescoping handle fork. If you've ever wondered where he gets that type of stuff, then take a look at Perpetual Kid (the name says it all, doesn't it?). I found this Freeloader Fork along with the Sneaky Spoon.

Now if only I could find that T-Rex Squirt Bottle...

Tell Dr. Freud's Therapy Ball your most neurotic thoughts and disturbing dreams, it will answer with objectivity and without judgement. 

Cheaper than traditional therapy, and no co-pay!

Hmmm, something's not quite right with that title. Oh well.

These are the original scratch-n-sniff stickers from the 1980's. This Mello Smello  Scratch n' Smell Variety Pack includes Chocolate Birthday Cake, Popcorn, Root Beer Float, Strawberry Shake, Pizza, Taco, Coffee, Fruit Candy, Banana Split, and Bubble Gum. 

And for the guys, don't worry; they make stinky ones, too! Brought to you by the wacky folks at Everything Smells.

Sure, I know you're thinking the same thing I was thinking - Laser Scissors? Cool! Scissors that cut with a laser!

Well, these are actually laser guided scissors. Mounted on the handle of the scissors is a laser light beam used to guide you while cutting for accurate straight cuts. 

Micro serrated edges cut cleanly, regardless of whether you are cutting paper for scrap booking or a school project, fabric for a quilt or hemming a pair of trousers. And let's not forget those presents!

(Attention Star Wars fans - you are allowed to hum while using these scissors. Wooooom Woooooom....)

That's right, a Bushel of Chocolate Crabs. This is the strangest chocolate idea I have seen in a while. One dozen chocolate crabs, half milk and half dark chocolate in the shape of crabs.

Great gift for someone with the Cancer Zodiac sign, or maybe just to cheer up someone who has been a little "crabby" lately and needed a chocolate fix. What fun!

Some people just can't get a break.  The are the senior moments and the blonde moments.  Ya know, sometimes people just forget things.  Did you ever stop and think that it has nothing to do with age, or the color of their hair?  Sometimes they just have so much that they have to keep up with (their's and other people's stuff) that they just forget.  So you think this gift idea is funny?  I don't recommend giving this gift as a gag to someone who has an "older" birthday and happens to be a blonde.  You just might get punched!

Thank you!